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Florida to Be Readmitted to Union 

Plague of Spotted Owls Threaten Crops, Livestock 

Construction Begins On Grenada War Memorial 

President "Bonecrusher" Jones to Face 
Chief Justice "Mad Dog" Ortega In Cage Match 

Baltimore Rams Defeat St. Louis Ravens 

Upcoming NFL Draft Likely to Focus On Mutants 

Younger Generation's Music Provokes Outrage of Elders 

D.C. Zoo to Receive Rare Cow 

Authentic Year 2000 Chad Sells For $6.9 Million at Sotheby's 

Court Clears 
AOLTimeWarnerGE-DisneyCiscoFordRJR-NabiscoExxon-Mobil 
of Monopoly Charges 

50-Year Study: Diet and Exercise Key to Weight Loss 

It Wasn't the Cigarettes - It Was the Ashtrays 

Cal Ripken Jr. Reduced to DH Role


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