advertisement

red line
SuperKids Software Review - The Parent's and Teacher's Guide to Childrens' Software
free newsletter! spacer tell a friend! spacer contests
spacer
software
  reviews
  bestseller list
  price survey
  what's new
  product support
  search
spacer
educational tools
  ask a scientist
  math worksheets
  vocabulary builders
  hangman
  iPhone/iPad apps
  logic games
  brain food
spacer
educational insights

feature articles
spacer
marketplace
  iPhone/iPad apps
  reading corner
  movie corner
spacer
SuperKids home
  about SuperKids
  advertise!
  humor
  links
  help
spacer
  * * *

Promotions




  * * *

spacer humor > > > answering machines


To: comic@superkids.com
Subject: Answering Machines

----- Begin Included Message -----

Subject: Answering machine

If you need to change or put a message for your phone recorder, here are some tips !!

Actual answering machine answers recorded and verified by the world-famous International Institute of Answering Machine Answers.

~~~~~

A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message.

~~~~~

Hi. Now you say something.

~~~~~

Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.

~~~~~

Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?

~~~~~

Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

~~~~~

Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.

~~~~~

Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.

~~~~~

This is not an answering machine-this is a telepathic thought- recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call.

~~~~~

Hi. I am probably home. I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

~~~~~

Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back.

~~~~~

If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave us a message.

~~~~~

You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message.

~~~~~

Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.

~~~~~

----- End Included Message -----

return to top of page



Go to: About SuperKids Educational Software Review
Questions or comments regarding this site? webmaster@superkids.com
Copyright © 1998-2024 Knowledge Share LLC. All rights reserved. Privacy Policy