Subject: Parent Humor
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AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to
desire another child.
DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your
children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of
FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the
FULL NAME: What you call your child when you're mad at him.
GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even
though they're sure you're not raising them right.
HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do
everything we say.
OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.
PRENATAL: When your life was still somewhat your own.
PUDDLE: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing
dry shoes into it.
SHOW OFF: A child who is more talented than yours.
STERILIZE: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and
to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
TWO-MINUTE WARNING: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to
make those familiar grunting noises.
VERBAL: Able to whine in words.
WHODUNIT: None of the kids that live in your house.
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